What's this ten-year-old doing in my M-rated game?

Over the past week or two, there have been some heated debates recently about children (and young teenagers) playing M-rated games. This is most likely due to the launch of Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and the realization of how many young children and adolescents were waiting in line at the midnight release. The arguments go back and forth—some with valid points while some are quite idiotic and stubborn—but there is really only one justifiable response to this topic.

You can shout out the ESRB ratings, the warped minds of young ones, and morality all you want; what this simply comes down to is the parent/guardian. He or she is the only one who can decide what their child plays; not you, me or anyone else with an opinion. This isn’t ideal when you notice a twelve-year-old child receiving a copy of Battlefield 3 (and it may make you want to yell “Get your kid out of my M-rated game”), but there is nothing you can do.

The ESRB ratings, while being statutes for employees, are simply guidelines for the buyer; which in this case is the parent, guardian or respective adult. The majority of electronic employees won’t sell M-rated games to children. I mean, I’m still asked for identification at times. Nevertheless, if an adult is there with the child it’s completely up to him or her. If a father or mother feel their offspring can handle slicing and dicing human enemies in MadWorld, that’s their decision. Is it right? Who knows? The parent or guardian may not have the slightest clue on how to raise these children, or care what game they “play on their Xbox” even if they own a Playstation 3 (apparently everything is played on an Xbox to those who don’t know much about video games). If that is the case, then the fault is shoddy parenting.

Then again, who knows how mature this child or teenager is. Maybe his or her parents/guardians have taught them more than you could imagine a “youngin” to know and feels they are mature enough to play these games. I know this explanation is very unlikely but I’ve seen rarer things happen.

As much as I dislike seeing immature children and teenagers in online multiplayer lobbies, I remember that I used to play M-rated games when I was younger. I also watched R-rated movies and read H.P. Lovecraft horror stories, but I like to think I turned out alright. Yet, I was only able to do those things because my parents felt I was mature enough to play, watch or read them. If I wasn’t, they simply took it away from me. I still remember the day I rented Mortal Kombat 4 and my mother ripped it out of the N64 when she saw my character rip out someone’s spine.

If you disagree with the idea of this, then there is only one thing to do and it starts with you. Whether you are a parent, guardian, soon-to-be either, or hope to have a family some day in the future you decide what your child plays. Your decisions and knowledge can influence other parents along with your own offspring when they get older. Employees must also be there to help out by giving as much information as they possibly can to the prospective buyer.

However, decent parents know what is right for their children; and hopefully, they fully research the product they are about to purchase for their kids. Either way, they are the only ones who can tell their ten-year-old child if they can or cannot wait in line to get the new Call of Duty.

PARENTS USING VIDEO GAMES TO TRAIN CHILDREN FOR UNDERGROUND FIGHTS?!

Don’t worry, it isn’t true. I was asked to write a humorous article for the college’s spoof paper and this is what I came up with. Hope you all enjoy it, and get at least one laugh from it. And, as always, thank you for reading!

PARENTS USING VIDEO GAMES TO TRAIN CHILDREN FOR UNDERGROUND FIGHTS?!

Could it be true? After sales of video games such as Street Fighter IV, Tekken 6, and Fight Night Champion skyrocketing over the past couple months, it was believed that many gamers had become new fans to the fighting genre. However, after numerous accounts of bruised and injured children attending elementary schools across the state there had to be a connection.

To discover the truth behind this mystery, I visited the local Wal-Mart to see if I could discover any inside information, though none of the employees had any details that could help in this investigation. Still, I was able to gain a lead by witnessing a peculiar event taking place in the Electronics section.

A father and mother entered the section with stern looks on their faces while dragging their black-eyed child along with them. He shouted, “I don’t want a video game! I don’t want one!”I could not imagine any child not wanting a video game, so I continued to view the scene. The father held the child as the mother gazed at the glass case, home to the Xbox 360’s catalog of games. She pointed out Street Fighter IV and I overheard her saying, “Maybe we can teach him how to throw a Hadoken (a fireball) . Then we’ll always win,” followed by the father smiling at his son, “How about that? Would you like to throw Hadokens?!”

Intrigued, I stayed put to witness a number of other children trying to avoid Electronics. Adding to my confusion were parents arguing over the last copies of UFC: Undisputed 2010.

To further my investigation I followed one family back to their home. Inside, they hounded the poor child to continue playing video games. Even when he looked up and ask to do his homework they shouted back that he was going to keep playing until he learned every move.

Inching ever so slightly to the truth, I stalked the nearest Play N’ Trade searching for information. Instead of me finding the facts though, the facts found me. A strange man approached me while I was asking around and told me that he would talk, but it had to be someplace safe because “they” were always watching. From that moment, I knew I would have to tread these waters carefully since danger was afoot! (Insert suspenseful music here)

We met at a coffee shop and when I asked his name he refused and said this conversation never took place. He went on to inform me that many parents had discovered a new form of gambling. It involved children battling it out in underground matches utilizing moves from popular video games. I was astounded, appalled, aroused, amazed, astonished, in abhorrence, felt antipathy; I couldn’t think of any other a- words to describe how I felt. I then asked where these matches were taking place and, after much persuasion (and having two less Abraham Lincolns in my wallet), I had discovered the location of these underground brawls.

On my way to Chuck E. Cheese, I prepared myself for the worst. I pictured children performing 12 Hit Combos and fatalities on each other while parents laughed in the background tossing money about. Sick to my stomach, I walked toward the dark corner of the children’s playhouse to find a man guarding a door to the back room. He asked for a password and I told him the one given to me by the mysterious man I conversed with earlier: Toasty (a Mortal Kombat term said by a rather strange man with a high pitched voiced after fighters performed an uppercut for those who do not understand the reference).

I was allowed in after being handed a flyer with the club’s such as rules:

1. You do not talk about Super Smash Children: Brawl.

2. You DO NOT talk about Super Smash Children: Brawl!

3. Moves must be utilized from fighting games only.

4. A $20 donation is recommended but not mandatory.

And then I shuddered! I walked into a ringed arena where children batted each other while parents howling out at them to perform moves such as a Yoga Teleport and Bicycle Kick. They even yelled out Toasty in unison every time a child landed an uppercut on the other.

I immediately left and ran to the police only to be met with laughter. Even when I was able to get one of them to accompany me to Chuck E. Cheese, there was no trace in the back room of the event as if it never happened. They believed me to be crazy but I know what I saw. Do not buy into the lies of these so-called loving parents. I notice many of them giving me an evil glare. They’re onto me because they figured out that I know the truth. But you can pick up where I left off! You can help these children! I plead with you all, help stop this madness and save these poor children before any of them have to suffer another Dragon Punch again!